In my life as a dancer, my whole identity was wrapped up in the way I looked. Working out was for the sole purpose of “sculpting” my body, and food was merely fuel that I tried to consume as little of as possible. I couldn’t have felt worse both mentally and physically, yet the dance and wellness industries praised this rigidity as virtuous “discipline”. I was the epitome of the “no days off” type that makes my eyes roll back in my head so much now.

While my militant devotion to these habits may have appeared healthy from the outside, it actually heightened my anxiety, zapped my energy, and even prompted an over-exercising injury that forced me to take a break from performing.

It didn’t take long to connect the dots that my obsession with being healthy was unhealthy. I had to find a way to reconcile my love of movement with my disinterest in participating in toxic wellness, and the Helen Phelan Studio was born.

When I’m not on the mat or in front of the camera, you can find me filling my camera roll with pictures of my boxer-pit mix, clumsily learning to speak French, attempting to bake, hoarding ceramic mugs, or hiking in the Catskills.

Find me on Instagram @helenvphelan, Tiktok @helenvphelan, and on Substack HPS Well Hell for more wellness culture musings.